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How To Stop A Breakup

Stop Breakup 300x200 How To Stop A BreakupCan a breakup be stopped? Yes. All relationships can be saved with a few basic rules:

1- Listen

2- Hear and understand

3- Share your feelings

4- Take the time to reflect

5- Find steps to take to save the relationship

Relationships are wonderful: two people sharing life and love, passion and happiness, building a future together. They can also be difficult: two people sharing life and obligations, frustration and doubt, working hard for the future.

Your partner wants to break up. There certainly are reasons why. Gently ask.

Listen to your partner, giving your full attention. Don’t watch T.V. at the time, or read the newspaper. Stop everything and sit down to really listen.

Hear what your partner is saying. Don’t defend yourself, don’t argue, don’t start a fight (sure way of ending it). Make sure your partner understands you have heard the issue. You can repeat it in your own words what you heard. For example, your lover says: “I find we don’t spend time together anymore and you always want to see your friends”. A very wrong answer would be: “Well I spent two nights alone with you last week!” You haven’t shown you’re hearing what the other person is saying and you are defending yourself without acknowledging the other’s feelings, two strong breakup tools. Your right answer would be: “I understand I don’t spend enough time with you and you feel neglected”.

Understand the issue. Once you know your partner feels heard, make sure you understand correctly. Ask questions and details, make sure you both understand each other. This will avoid miscommunication issues later.

Reassure your partner that you understand his or her feelings. Express them in your words so your partner can correct you if you’re wrong. Going back to our previous example: “You feel neglected because I don’t spend enough time with you and this hurts you to the point where you want to end the relationship.”

Agree with your partner, acknowledge the issue. Put yourself in the other’s position.

Do not respond immediately with a solution. Take some time to think about your partner’s issues. Don’t answer right away something like: “Well, you went out twice with your friends last week and I didn’t get upset over it!” Take a step back and absorb your partner’s sadness. Only then will you truly understand the other’s feelings and why your partner wants to break up.

Apologize for your behaviour. Even if you did not mean to hurt your mate’s feelings, your actions did. Taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing for how it made your lover feel is a huge step in working things out. It is important you do so.

Finally, find steps to take together to mend your relationship. Reassess your habits and behaviours together to discover ways to fix the little things that can become big if they are not addressed. Always tell each other how you feel without blame or being on the defensive. Always speak in the first person. There is always a way to smooth things over when you both take time to hear each other.

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