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Can You Save Marriage From Divorce

Can You Save Marriage From Divorce | Good News Bad News

Author: James Moore

If things have gotten to the point when divorce has been brought up, you might think you have passed the point of no return and  there is no way to save marriage from divorce.  It is not too late, there are 3 basic steps that must happen to save any marriage, no matter how bad things have become.  If divorce is on the table, it will mean harder work, painful soul searching and the need for time.  

Whether there has been infidelity or some other instance of broken trust in the relationship, or there has been abuse, boredom, or any number of other issues, in order to save marriage from divorce you need to actively work hard to save the marriage and find the way back to a happy, healthy relationship.

Step 1 to Save Marriage from Divorce:

Identify what the problem or problems really are, not the ones on the surface but the real problems. Until you identify what that problem is, you can’t do anything to help make it better.  Many times the true issues are under the surface and not so obvious. Often this is where counseling and relationship guides come in handy as they help you define the questions to ask. If you have to get counseling for this step, then do so. You can’t find any solutions without first knowing the problems.

Step 2 to Save Marriage from Divorce:

Once  problems have been defined it is time to get practical and try to implement steps to help make them go away. This sounds a whole lot easier than it actually is. Usually it involves discussion and an agreement between the couple on how to put a plan together. If that is not an option, you have to learn how to interpret the arguments and comments that have been made and figure out things you need to do on your own.

Even problems that seem simple can end up being complicated once you try to work on them. That is because when there has been arguments or emotional feelings that have built up over time, little things can get blown out of proportion.  Also, it is common to put all the attention on the little things to avoid dealing with key underlying issues.  

For example, the problem may seem to be the weight gain of one spouse or the other, so what seems a simple solution to get motivated to get on a healthy diet may not be so simple if the reason for the weight gain to begin with is the rejection they feel from when intimacy has been non-existent  for a long time, so the overeating was a compensation.  The real problem then needs to be the intimacy issue, not the weight.

Step 3 to Save Marriage from Divorce:

This is the gift of time.  No matter what the problems are you must allow time to help solve the marital problems.  This goes for those working on things themselves with self-help guides, on their own with common sense, or if you choose to get counseling.  It simply takes time to find solutions and even more importantly to heal from the damage that has been done already, on both sides.  

It is important to remember the goal here is not to change a person, but is to save marriage from divorce, so the relationship needs to be repaired,  so you are trying to figure out ways to change the marriage, not your spouse. There was a reason you fell in love to begin with and those things are still in there somewhere. It is your job to try to change the situation so you can re-discover some of those things again.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/can-you-save-marriage-from-divorce-good-news-bad-news-5006391.html

About the Author

If you can re discover those reasons why you fell in love and focus on making the marriage better you CAN save marriage from divorce.  Not long ago, I was going through a situation with my marrige, and we wanted to address the issues, and deal with them but we just did not know how.  Trial and error proved that e books were not the answer.  How can 1 book speak to so many different people, with different issues?

Fortunately, a tip from a dear friend led us to relationship counseling that really hit home for us.  They really cater to each couple individually and create a plan speific for you.  I attended a free online seminar to learn more and you can to, with NO obligations.  Find out more about the online seminar HERE.

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