Author: James Moore

Unfortunately the answer to the question, “Can this marriage be saved?” is never easy or simple.  Some times, if you got married for the wrong reasons to begin with, or in cases of abuse the answer to the question is no,  and that is a good thing.

Can this marriage be saved if they say they love you but are not in love with you?
 
If your spouse has delivered the, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” message and  has been avoiding any type of intimacy with you for months, you may be confused about what seems to have been a sudden change in feelings.  You can take this comment as a game over kind of thing, or try to look deeper to see what the real issues are.

A wife might say they are not in love with you anymore as she tells you that the beer gut, scraggly beard and long hair  are a major turn-off.  Not only do you have to be ready to commit yourself to getting  back  in shape, and shave each day, but you have to know that in itself may not  help your marital problems go away.  What were the reason for the weight gain to begin with? May-be the wife was paying too much attention to the kids and not enough to you?  Or her job, or your schedules never seemed to work out right, or she always had a “headache.”

It is the process of figuring this all out, that will help peal away the layers and open the relationship back up for the love that was once there.

Can this marriage be saved if only one person wants to?

It is nice if a couple will agree to work on saving their marriage , but great strides can be made with one person doing the soul searching.  What happens in these situation is one person takes a good look at the things they have done to harm the relationship, and can work on finding solutions involve making changes to your own self and things you say and do.

This is where time and sometimes separation play an important role.  These kinds of changes need to be natural and things that will help you as a person.  Better understand yourself,  get back in touch with who you are as a person and it will be easier to tackle a relationship.  It might be you need to become less dependent,  and more self sufficient.  It might mean learning to talk with I statements and not you, and it might mean learning to become a better active listener.  When your spouse starts to notice some of these changes and it is easier to communicate, other things needed to repair the marriage can start to happen.

This sort of thing  is what a legal separation is supposed to be about, time to explore and work on the marriage, but too many couples do not take advantage of this, they use it as a legal stepping stone to divorce. As you can see, Can this marriage be saved,? Is something that will take hard work and soul searching and some time.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/can-this-marriage-be-saved-are-you-wondering-5006311.html

About the Author

If you find yourself wondering “can this marriage be saved” you are probably at a make or break point in your marriage, and are need of counseling of some sort.  I was asking myself this very question not to long ago, and it wasn’t until we found the right guidance that we were able to make headway.

I saved my marriage, and you can to.  It is merely a matter of getting the right guidance, as long as you both are willing to work at it.  For more information on the guidance that has helped save my marriage, and may others click HERE.

They are offering FREE online seminars to help you gauge whether or not it is right for you.  You have nothing to lose, and a marriage to save.

Author: James Moore

If things have gotten to the point when divorce has been brought up, you might think you have passed the point of no return and  there is no way to save marriage from divorce.  It is not too late, there are 3 basic steps that must happen to save any marriage, no matter how bad things have become.  If divorce is on the table, it will mean harder work, painful soul searching and the need for time.  

Whether there has been infidelity or some other instance of broken trust in the relationship, or there has been abuse, boredom, or any number of other issues, in order to save marriage from divorce you need to actively work hard to save the marriage and find the way back to a happy, healthy relationship.

Step 1 to Save Marriage from Divorce:

Identify what the problem or problems really are, not the ones on the surface but the real problems. Until you identify what that problem is, you can’t do anything to help make it better.  Many times the true issues are under the surface and not so obvious. Often this is where counseling and relationship guides come in handy as they help you define the questions to ask. If you have to get counseling for this step, then do so. You can’t find any solutions without first knowing the problems.

Step 2 to Save Marriage from Divorce:

Once  problems have been defined it is time to get practical and try to implement steps to help make them go away. This sounds a whole lot easier than it actually is. Usually it involves discussion and an agreement between the couple on how to put a plan together. If that is not an option, you have to learn how to interpret the arguments and comments that have been made and figure out things you need to do on your own.

Even problems that seem simple can end up being complicated once you try to work on them. That is because when there has been arguments or emotional feelings that have built up over time, little things can get blown out of proportion.  Also, it is common to put all the attention on the little things to avoid dealing with key underlying issues.  

For example, the problem may seem to be the weight gain of one spouse or the other, so what seems a simple solution to get motivated to get on a healthy diet may not be so simple if the reason for the weight gain to begin with is the rejection they feel from when intimacy has been non-existent  for a long time, so the overeating was a compensation.  The real problem then needs to be the intimacy issue, not the weight.

Step 3 to Save Marriage from Divorce:

This is the gift of time.  No matter what the problems are you must allow time to help solve the marital problems.  This goes for those working on things themselves with self-help guides, on their own with common sense, or if you choose to get counseling.  It simply takes time to find solutions and even more importantly to heal from the damage that has been done already, on both sides.  

It is important to remember the goal here is not to change a person, but is to save marriage from divorce, so the relationship needs to be repaired,  so you are trying to figure out ways to change the marriage, not your spouse. There was a reason you fell in love to begin with and those things are still in there somewhere. It is your job to try to change the situation so you can re-discover some of those things again.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/can-you-save-marriage-from-divorce-good-news-bad-news-5006391.html

About the Author

If you can re discover those reasons why you fell in love and focus on making the marriage better you CAN save marriage from divorce.  Not long ago, I was going through a situation with my marrige, and we wanted to address the issues, and deal with them but we just did not know how.  Trial and error proved that e books were not the answer.  How can 1 book speak to so many different people, with different issues?

Fortunately, a tip from a dear friend led us to relationship counseling that really hit home for us.  They really cater to each couple individually and create a plan speific for you.  I attended a free online seminar to learn more and you can to, with NO obligations.  Find out more about the online seminar HERE.

Author: James Moore

The First Step in how to save a marriage may not be as easy as you think. The most common advice for any time there is conflict, whether it is in a marriage or if your microwave stops working is to identify the problem.  Well with a microwave that is pretty easy since it is obvious that there is a problem to begin with.

With relationships this step can be tough because a lot of the time you are not even aware there is a problem.  You think everything is fine, but your spouse tells you that it is not.  So before you can identify the problem in your marriage, you first need to be aware that you should be looking for one.

Any marriage will have its normal highs and lows, that is how it works. What we are talking about here is when the  lows have lasted quite a long time and things just never get back on track. In some cases you realize you are bickering all the time, and never seem to agree on anything or the opposite, you never even talk to each other much any more.

What you want to happen is to realize things are off kilter before a big blow up or you get the speech about how they love you but are not in love with you anymore.  However, most people end up starting to examine how to save a marriage when they get that speech or one like it.

So the important thing to do is to figure out what the problem is really about.  Once you have that, you can take steps to try and fix it.  Particularly if you can see things that involve you, yourself and therefore you can make changes and see if that helps. Sometimes with some honest reflection  there will be problems that are simple to fix, other times you will need some professional guidance, from relationship guides or with counseling to help you dig into the roots of things.  They give you the questions to be asking, you do the hard work. Either way until you can identify what that underlying problem is, you won’t be able to fix it.  It really is the most important step to figuring out how to save a marriage.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/how-to-save-a-marriage-the-first-thing-you-must-do-5006108.html

About the Author

Knowing how to save a marriage can be the difference between a healthy, functional relationship and divorce court.  Couples that face these issues know how to put in the hard work, but lack the guidance to point them along the right path.  I was once in this boat.

Once we found the proper guidance, we were able to address our issues, and work together to put things back on track.  This can all happen for you, but you have to take action now.  It is time to take control of your life and regain the happiness you once had.  Learn more HERE.

If you are just going through a breakup and would really like to reconcile and win your love back, maybe you will find the video below helpful:

Hey, first of all, welcome to my website!

Look, I am really sorry that we have to meet in such a tough time of your life, but I just wanted to let you know that I am all here for you! Feel free to browse around a little to see all the things I’ve put up for you here.

But before you do that, I’d maybe like you to meet my friend T.W. Jackson – or short T Dub if you prefer

He’s a southern guy from Arkansas who has by now I think managed to help like over 50.000 people in 77 countries to get back together with their loved ones. Maybe he could help you, too? It’s worth a shot at least I figured, so go ahead and watch the video below and I’ll maybe talk to you again later!

If you’re interested in checking out T Dubs website and watch more of his videos (he has a really good one about how to make a good “opening move” with your ex right on top), click here to go there

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Getting Back Together – Step by Step to Success

Okay, let’s get straight to the point: getting back together and managing to win your ex back is mostly not so hard, alright? But it does take a little effort nontheless. So, are you ready to take the bull by the horns? You’re willing to do what you have to do to win your ex back? Here are some hints and tips that will help you get what you want. Be careful though, you have to follow these steps one at a time, or you’ll run the risk of losing everything again. Getting back together is not difficult, but how and when to win your ex back can be tricky.

Once you have stopped crying, staring at the phone, checking your emails 134 times a day, making sure your cell is on, turning off the television when a commercial for singles matching companies comes on, take the time to reassert yourself. Make time for yourself, do what you really like to do, go out – even if it’s just to sit in front of a cup of coffee in a café with a book – see friends, keep yourself busy during the day, and take up some kind of relaxation activity like yoga or tai chi or breathing exercises. Remember you are your own person and you exist without your ex or anyone else.
You’ll do great.

You don’t want to appear needy or weepy if you want to win your ex back. For this, don’t communicate with your ex after the breakup until the next step. If you call your ex and apologize profusely or try to explain yourself over and over, your ex will likely feel smothered and retreat even more.

Another important step in getting back together is confrontation. Avoid appearing “out of the blue” at places where you know your ex is surely to be. Don’t provoke a confrontation, it’s better you keep your dignity instead of saying rash emotional things you might regret. Take the time to heal until you feel better. If you do happen upon your ex accidently, stay friendly and reserved and cut the conversation short. Don’t mention anything about the breakup, that you would love to win your ex back or bring up old arguments.

Once you have regained your self-confidence and raised your self-esteem by taking very good care of yourself, you are ready for the next step. Think back how you were when you two met. What were you doing back then? What was your life like? In other words, who did your ex fall in love with? You’ll find that you’re the same person, so why couldn’t your ex fall in love with you again? What is different? Some things happen over time, jobs change, people move, and without warranting any notice, these things can take a toll on a relationship. Try to find the reason why you broke up in the first place. It’s the key to getting back together with your love and win your ex back fast.

After all this, reconnect with your ex, stay confident and aware of your attractiveness, and slowly win back your love for a nice life together, fix what issues you can without repeating the same mistakes twice. This time will be the right time. Always remember, it is definitely possible to win your ex back no matter what went wrong!

Oh yeah, and don’t forget to check out my friend T Dub’s website, too. He has helped so many other people before that chances are he’ll be able to help you, too. Click here to visit him

Whether you suffer from insomnia because you rehash old arguments or turn the relationship any which way to understand the breakup better, or whether you don’t feel like eating or seeing anyone; or whether you don’t listen to the radio in case “your song” is playing or you don’t go to movies in case you might see couples sitting close together, there is a way to help time heal your wounds a little faster and ultimately win your ex back.

Do whatever you have to do to stop panicking. It is not the end of your life. It is the end of a part of your life. Big difference. You haven’t lost everything. Take stock of what you have in you and what you’ve always had: your friends, your family, your job; your hobbies, your favorite books, your favorite meals; your self-respect, your self-esteem, your education, your knowledge; your interests and pastimes. Now you can take some time for yourself and do things you want to do, without thinking what your ex would have thought about it. You are now free to do what and when you wish.

First and foremost, start taking care of yourself. The crying will subside over time; don’t worry about that. Start by getting up in the morning and eating something. Anything: ice cream or leftover pizza will do for now if that’s what you want to eat: better than nothing. Take a shower, get dressed.

That takes care of the outside. The inside is a little more difficult to fix, but you can manage it.

It is best you don’t talk to your ex right after the breakup. Especially don’t say anything the fact that all you want is to win your ex back. First, it might hurt even more. Second, your judgment will be clouded by the pain and suffering and you might come off as clingy or desperate. You have to feel better before talking to your ex again, let alone to win your ex back, whatever media you might want to use (no phone, no email, nothing).

Start seeing people again. Stay in contact with common friends you had, but avoid questioning them about how your ex is doing. If your friends bring it up, you don’t have to react or comment; stay cool, just like if they just told you their aunt had a hip replaced: “Uhum…..”

You never know, gaining your confidence back might just make you attractive to your ex again. Without promising anything, it has happened many, many times. But the key is to do it for you, so you fill the void the breakup left in your heart with happy thoughts, fun memories and perhaps, who knows, a new beginning with your loved one. As the saying goes: you never know…

You must understand that you can win your ex back, that most broken relationships can be mended.

It may seem hopeless to you right now, you may be feeling excruciatingly hurt, rejected, desperate and lonely. You may feel frustration and regret of all the things you could have said but didn’t, if only you could have had a chance to explain, if only you hadn’t done this or that… Don’t worry. It will be alright.

You may not believe it, but you have it in you right now to win your ex back. That power has been in you all along! You had it when you two first met, you still have it now. Haven’t felt it in a long time? It may be one of the reasons your lover broke up. Have you started taking things for granted, including your lover? Have you been neglecting yourself a bit lately? Do you still have the same self-respect you had before? If not, think about what changed. Take a step back. Look inside your soul; find your true self again. This will give you confidence to win your ex back.

One thing you shouldn’t do right after the breakup is call your ex under any circumstances. You don’t want to seem smothering or apologetic. However, stay close to common friends, without discussing your relationship with them. Keep them guessing so you’ll keep your love guessing too.

Once you feel strong enough to enter into contact with your ex, let yourself free to flirt with your love, just like in the beginning. Don’t throw yourself at your ex and definitely don’t tell them you want to win your ex back, he or she might feel overpowered and back off even more. Take things slow and let the magic work again. Romance is like a dance: you move forward, the other steps back. The other steps forward, you move back. If you step forward and forward again and again, the passionate tango can turn into a cat and mouse chase: not very romantic.

If you feel like seeing your ex, you can suggest a night out with friends, or a party you might both be invited to, avoiding a first date alone together. Remember: forward, back.

Stay confident, smile, and look your ex in the eyes. Be yourself, as you naturally were when you first met. Avoid mentioning old arguments, reasons of unhappiness, or blames. Your ex would run away if you start a fight about your last argument; he or she wouldn’t want to go back into a relationship already jeopardized! Remember, simple and easy. Make you ex miss you, giving a little of yourself at a time and you will win your ex back before you even know it.

Just one warning: don’t fall into the danger of re-enacting special moments you had before. You want to present a new and improved version of you, refreshed and glowing. Keep in mind that many broken relationships can be fixed for a bright, happy future and make it work for you.

Also be sure to check out my Free Video Guide that will help you to Win Your Ex Back even if your situation seems hopeless! Just insert your email adress into the box on the right and I will send it to you right now!

Are you sure?

Before attempting to win your ex back, certain phases have to be completed. To get more detailed tips on how to win your ex back, I highly recommend you watch my free video revealing the #1 secret to win your ex back! You can sign up for it right next to this post.

1.  Do not communicate with your ex anymore

Yes, we do mean cutting yourself off of all means of communication with your ex. Refrain from phoning, even if you rehearsed what you are going to say, what you need to explain, what you want to clarify, what you should have said. Don’t. Do not email it either! No texting, no Facebook visits, no twittering. No showing up “spontaneously” where you are sure your ex will be. It would be too obvious. Avoid spying, you might get caught and look totally silly. If you do run into your ex by sheer coincidence, stay pleasant and cut it short.

2.  Crying is very soothing – when it’s over.

Get your friends to help you. Use all the boxes of tissues you need.

3.  Get your self-esteem back

Pick up what you dropped when you started going out with your ex. Fishing, sailing, running, sowing, scrapbooking, collecting stamps, whatever made you happy before you started the relationship.

4.  Get back out there

Start going out again. See a movie, take a burger, get some fancy coffee. This will make you get out of the house, exercise a little, get back in motion.

Okay, you are now ready.

You are confident, self-assured, you got your self-esteem high up there again, and you are self-sufficient. Be what you know they want you to be. You don’t have to change your whole personality: after all, it’s your true personality that won them over in the first place! Stay natural, know your worth, and feel attractive. If you feel attractive, you become attractive to others.

Flirt with your ex. Act like you did when you first met. By this, we mean: avoid bringing up old issues; do not act jealous or insecure; be confident, and say how you really feel. So many relationships have been salvaged by just saying the right thing at the right moment. Do not argue, do not blame your ex, do not smother, do not take blame or apologize profusely. Needy and insecure feelings will just turn your ex off. Stay positive. Be comfortable in admitting your mistakes. You have the power within you to win your ex back. You had it in you all along. It may have gotten flattened by routine and daily minor aggravations, but it is there for you to reach down and get it. Fluff up that power, give it new energy.

Learn from your mistakes. Both of you. Take time to consider what went wrong and what you can both do to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Everyone deserves to be happy. If you can be happy together, why not communicate better and try to solve the problems before breaking up again? Relationships need lots of love and a little bit of work.

Be sure to check out more detailed secrets to Win Your Ex Back in the Free Video you can get by entering your E-Mail adress into the box in the right!

Click Here for a full blown Step By Step Master Plan that already helped 50,119 people to win their ex back into their arms.

What happened? How did it get out of hand? What are the main issues that slipped through your mutual fingers with a mind of their own and destroyed the simple happy love you shared?

If you are replaying scenes in your mind and thinking about what you should have said, rehashing the last discussions that did not end well and trying to interpret each and every word your ex said every which way, if you rehearse over and over what you will say next time you speak, if you feel all the blame is on you and you want to apologize for everything just to get your ex back or to save your relationship, if you have the itch to spy on your ex, you need help.

It is natural after a breakup or being in the process of breaking up to feel frustration, hopelessness and worst of all devastating pain. You need to calm yourself, get the crying and raging out of the way with the help of your friends and start the business of salvaging your relationship.

Remember: almost every relationship can be mended. Yes, almost every single one of them.

When you feel insecure, dependent or needy, your mate absorbs those negative feelings and starts to be put off by them. Sure you can have moments of doubt, but if you stay in a rut of helplessness and dependency, it can backfire. No one wants a clutching lover. It steals away energy from the other, puts pressure on your mate to take care of you without getting anything back since you are incapable of giving when you feel that way. Think back if you fell into this type of behaviour and, if so, when. What were the circumstances that brought this on? Could you have helped it?

Perhaps the relationship went sour after many complaints and no apparent change. Could you have made some changes that, after all, did not ask much of you but could have benefited your ex? Some people feel that changing for someone else is unhealthy. That is true if your lover wants to change your nature, your essence, who you are. What if your mate asks you to change your reactions to certain things? That can be done with minimal effort from you but will make your partner trust you more, and feel like you do hear your mate’s wishes and you take them into account.

Once you have started going out again, seeing friends, planning dinners and gain your self-esteem back, rewind your relationship to its beginning and see what changed over time. There is a reason your ex fell in love with you. Check out this Free Video (Click Here) and use the advice to save your relationship. Chances are your ex misses the simplicity of that first love you shared. Remember: the most important element in a relationship is love. If you have that, you can fix everything.

1- Listen

2- Hear and understand

3- Share your feelings

4- Take the time to reflect

5- Find steps to take to save the relationship

Relationships are wonderful: two people sharing life and love, passion and happiness, building a future together. They can also be difficult: two people sharing life and obligations, frustration and doubt, working hard for the future.

Your partner wants to break up. There certainly are reasons why. Gently ask.

Listen to your partner, giving your full attention. Don’t watch T.V. at the time, or read the newspaper. Stop everything and sit down to really listen.

Hear what your partner is saying. Don’t defend yourself, don’t argue, don’t start a fight (sure way of ending it). Make sure your partner understands you have heard the issue. You can repeat it in your own words what you heard. For example, your lover says: “I find we don’t spend time together anymore and you always want to see your friends”. A very wrong answer would be: “Well I spent two nights alone with you last week!” You haven’t shown you’re hearing what the other person is saying and you are defending yourself without acknowledging the other’s feelings, two strong breakup tools. Your right answer would be: “I understand I don’t spend enough time with you and you feel neglected”.

Understand the issue. Once you know your partner feels heard, make sure you understand correctly. Ask questions and details, make sure you both understand each other. This will avoid miscommunication issues later.

Reassure your partner that you understand his or her feelings. Express them in your words so your partner can correct you if you’re wrong. Going back to our previous example: “You feel neglected because I don’t spend enough time with you and this hurts you to the point where you want to end the relationship.”

Agree with your partner, acknowledge the issue. Put yourself in the other’s position.

Do not respond immediately with a solution. Take some time to think about your partner’s issues. Don’t answer right away something like: “Well, you went out twice with your friends last week and I didn’t get upset over it!” Take a step back and absorb your partner’s sadness. Only then will you truly understand the other’s feelings and why your partner wants to break up.

Apologize for your behaviour. Even if you did not mean to hurt your mate’s feelings, your actions did. Taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing for how it made your lover feel is a huge step in working things out. It is important you do so.

Finally, find steps to take together to mend your relationship. Reassess your habits and behaviours together to discover ways to fix the little things that can become big if they are not addressed. Always tell each other how you feel without blame or being on the defensive. Always speak in the first person. There is always a way to smooth things over when you both take time to hear each other.

All is hopeless. Or is it?

Of course not! Nothing is forever. Most relationships can be salvaged. How? Let me show you some tips and advice on how to get your ex back.

First and foremost, the Golden Rule is cut off all contact. If your ex phones you, okay. But you are not the first one to call after the breakup. Even if you really, really want to, you know what you should say, you want to explain, do not contact your ex. Why? Because at this stage, your judgement is clouded by despair, sorrow and frustration. Nothing good can come out of this discussion if you have it now. You do not want to appear insecure or needy. That’s a definite turn-off.

Next: after you’ve cried all the tears you could possibly produce, get your head back together. Start eating better (of course you haven’t been eating well and it’s okay), take care of yourself, don’t indulge in your depression.

The key to getting your ex back is to convince yourself you have the power to repair your relationship. You do. It’s in you. What will grab your ex’s attention is if you have come back to being confident, sure of yourself, calm and reserved. By this, read: don’t act jealous, don’t call crying and sniveling, don’t leave tons of messages, and certainly don’t beg. Imagine you were the one who borke up and they did that to you. You’d react annoyed and even more turned off.

Take the time to do other things, see your friends, go out, have fun and maybe even accept to go on a few dates. Yes! Why not. This will help to convince you your ex is really the person you want to be with or if your ex pales in comparison to other people: sure sign.

What made you attractive to your ex in the first place? Think back. When you met, what was it that your ex kept saying he or she liked about you? Your laugh? Your charm? The way you look in a particular hat? Those reasons are still in you. Now reflect on the last few months with your ex. Did you stop laughing? Did you get in a complaining rut? Have you stopped wearing hats (ok: just a silly example!)? Were you more independent before? Did you fall into a dependent behaviour? Maybe some circumstances made your self-esteem decrease?

Once you have reflected on these issues and have gained confidence in yourself again, start asking around about your ex, where you can run into her or him. You will be well prepared to flirt with your ex just like in the beginning, no arguments, no blame distribution, no bad feelings. Start fresh, relaxed, confident and self-assured. Remember: if you’ve broken up, you can make up.

Don’t forget to check out the proven masterplan that has already helped over 50.000 people to get their ex back in their arms.

Click Here!